Five nights a week a college boy chops and cooks desert field mice at the Runaway Ralph Diner near Jack Rabbit trail. He likes the job but sometimes the mice bite him when he takes them out of their cage.
“Don’t worry my frosty cupcake.” With a quick kiss on the young female’s skull. The young cook twists her neck and pulls off her tail. Using a meat cleaver the young chef hacks the mouse in two then slits the skin butterfly style. The cook looks for eggs. Some of the female mice are pregnant so the young chef makes a cut along the belly and removes any embryos.
Those babies are collected and saved in a monkey dish inside the walk-in fridge for Friday.
On Friday nights during busy happy hour the Runaway Ralph serves rodent caviar. This delicacy is served with oyster crackers inside paper Dixie cups for $3.95.
The diner’s boss is cool. She lets the college boy drink red wine and smoke Mary Jane as he prepares the only main entree the Runaway Ralph serves.
The “Dish” prepared in the classic tradition is an inexpensive favorite among desert hunters. Hungry camouflaged suburbanites who crave an alternative to choked chicken.
To prepare the “Dish” the cook loosens his belt and unzips the fly. He knows the kitchen will get hot once grease snaps in a pan.
Exposed at the waist the college boy sits on a plastic glass rack. The sweat browed guy concentrates with constant stare on his mallet. The guy pounds hard and shakes the backside of a young white female mouse.
“come on pretty girl make daddy happy” The boy’s wrist moves fast and hard. The female silent with a fixated stare.
“Come on” his voice shakes.
A jar of Miracle Whip falls from the counter.
“Here it comes”
The jar lands hard on the young lad’s lap.
The container cracks. White thick cream spills onto the young man’s stomach.
The cook’s body shakes. His fingers pinch. A man sniffs and lifts the once pregnant mouse. The man chef opens her wide. The chef stuffs the lifeless woman with some soggy Wonder bread and a final warm squirt of the fake mayonnaise.
With a moan the college boy takes a rest break then smokes the last of the roach while the man chef dips the young mother in fresh thyme and raw egg. The woman is dusted with some powdered sand and fried to golden.
Finally, she is served on a warm ivory plate. -ginnetta correli